#11: Let Them Mama: The Art of Giving Zero F’s (Strategically)
Because you don’t have time, energy, or patience for every opinion anymore—and that’s growth, babe.
Why Moms Need to Stop Giving So Many F’s
Let’s be real: motherhood comes with an avalanche of opinions—most of them unsolicited. From how you feed your baby to whether your kid watches too much Bluey, someone always has something to say. And if you’ve been carrying the weight of all those judgments, comparisons, and expectations? It’s time to drop that load, Mama.
Giving zero fucks doesn’t mean you stop caring—it means you stop over-caring about the wrong things. It’s about being intentional with your energy, choosing peace over people-pleasing, and finally giving yourself the grace you’ve been handing out like snacks at soccer practice.
And cue in: Mel Robbins’ “Let Them Theory.” Translation? Let them think what they want. Let them do what they do. Let them leave, unfollow, judge, or misunderstand. LET. THEM. You’ve got better things to focus on—like your own joy.
Let’s break this down.
1. Let Them Judge—You're Not a Museum Exhibit
Someone didn’t like your kid’s behavior at Walmart? Your messy house? That you took a solo mom-cation to stare at a hotel wall in peace? Let. Them. Judge.
You are not responsible for how uncomfortable your confidence, boundaries, or rest make other people. That’s their baggage to unpack—not your circus, not your monkeys.
You’re not some curated, glass-box exhibit where everything must look perfect. You’re a whole ass human—with snack crumbs in your bra, dark circles under your eyes, and a soul full of dreams. That’s not messy. That’s real. Embrace your authenticity, it’s your superpower.
Real-Talk Tips:
Create a “Nope List” – Write down the things you used to stress about (perfect dinners, judgmental relatives, PTA drama) and officially stop caring. Burn it if you’re feeling spicy.
Master the Deadpan Smile – Perfect your “thanks for your opinion” smile and move right along.
Repeat the Mantra: “Their opinion of me is none of my business.” Say it until it feels real.
2. Let Them Do It Their Way—Comparison Is a Thief, Not a Coach
So what if Becky from preschool crafts bento box lunches and does affirmations with her toddler in Sanskrit? Good for her. Let her do it her way. You’re doing it yours—and if yours involves frozen waffles, forgotten library books, and putting on a bra only because you have to leave the house… guess what? Still valid. Still enough. Still love-worthy.
Comparison will try to trick you into thinking everyone else has it all figured out. But here’s the secret: no one does. They’re just posting the shiny parts.
Keep your eyes on your own beautiful, chaotic, glitter-coated lane.
Real-Talk Tips:
Unfollow or Mute When Needed – Protect your peace. You don’t need to consume content that makes you feel "less than."
Celebrate Small Wins – You got dressed today? You drank water and remembered a dentist appointment? BRAVO.
Practice “No but good for you” energy – It’s okay to admire without aspiring. You do YOU.
3. Let Them Leave—Not Everyone Deserves a Seat at Your Table
Listen: not everyone is meant to walk with you through every chapter. If someone exits your life when you start setting boundaries or choosing yourself? Let them.
The people who guilt-trip you for evolving were only comfortable when you were shrinking. Or when they were able to take advantage of your empathy and abuse your people pleasing tendencies. That’s not love—that’s control dressed in guilt.
You deserve relationships that feel like a safe place to land, not an exhausting performance. So edit that circle, hold the door open if needed, bless and release.
Real-Talk Tips:
Edit Your Circle – Keep the ones who lift you, not drain you. Quality > quantity.
Say “No” Without a TED Talk – No explanation needed. “No” is a full-ass sentence.
Notice Who Claps – The quiet supporters deserve the loudest love.
4. Let Yourself Be—Permission to Be a Hot Mess & a Work in Progress
You don’t have to be fixed to be worthy. You don’t need to be glowing and organized and “on top of everything” to be allowed joy. Let yourself be exactly who you are in this season—even if that person is emotionally fragile, caffeine-powered, and currently hiding in the bathroom scrolling this post. (Hey girl, same.)
Personal growth isn’t about turning into someone else. It’s about becoming more you—just with less burnout and more boundaries.
You are a work in progress AND a whole masterpiece. At the same damn time.
Real-Talk Tips:
Have “Grace Days” – Days where it’s okay if nothing gets done but keeping everyone alive. That counts.
Talk to Yourself Like a Friend – Would you call your bestie lazy for having a rough day? Nope. So don’t do it to yourself.
Document Your Wins – Keep a note in your phone: “Today I crushed it by…” (Even if it's just finding matching socks.)
5. Let Life Be Light—You’re Allowed to Laugh Through the Chaos
Sometimes all you can do is laugh at the absurdity of it all. The forgotten picture day. The exploding diaper. The text you forgot to respond to for three weeks (oops). Motherhood is a sitcom wrapped in a hurricane wrapped in a hug.
Let it be funny. Let it be messy. Let it be light, when you can.
Laughter isn’t weakness—it’s survival. And it’s okay to find joy even in the middle of the storm. Especially there.
Real-Talk Tips:
Find Your “Mom Tribe” With the Same Humor Code – Misery may love company, but healing loves hilarity.
Turn Mistakes Into Memes – Laughter is medicine. Share it, joke about it, own it.
Schedule Fun Like an Appointment – Even if it’s 15 minutes with trash TV or dance breaks while cooking mac and cheese.
Final Word: Let Them, Mama. Just. Let .Them.
You are not here to be perfect. You’re here to live, grow, mess up, try again, and model what real, unfiltered self-love looks like.
So from now on, give your fucks sparingly, strategically, and only to what feeds your soul. And for the rest? Let. Them.
Recap:
Let Them Judge: You’re not here to impress the peanut gallery—you’re here to live, love, and maybe scream into a pillow in peace.
Let Them Do It Their Way: Comparison is trash—toss it out and stay in your own beautiful, chaotic lane.
Let Them Leave: Not everyone is meant for your next chapter, and that’s not a loss—it’s a blessing.
Let Yourself Be: You’re allowed to be a masterpiece and a mess at the same time, Mama.
Let Life Be Light: Laughter is survival—so find the funny in the chaos and roll with it.
At the end of the day, strategic zero f***s isn’t about shutting down—it’s about showing up for yourself first. When you stop wasting energy trying to meet everyone else’s expectations, you free up space for what really matters: your peace, your power, and your people.
So let them think what they want. Let them do what they do. And you? You go live, love, laugh—and maybe nap, if the stars align. You are not here to be perfect. You’re here to live, grow, mess up, try again, and model what real, unfiltered self-love looks like.
So from now on, give your fucks sparingly, strategically, and only to what feeds your soul. And for the rest? Let. Them.
If you found this post helpful, be sure to check out my other tips on self-care for busy moms, or browse my full collection of motherhood hacks to make life a little easier! Thank you so much for reading, remember to follow me on all my socials and don’t forget to subscribe to my website to be the first to read my weekly blog.
If no one told you today, you are an amazing mom and I see you. You wouldn’t be reading this blog if you weren’t and I am SO proud of you. Keep loving yourself too, mama.
With Love, Caitlin Nichols
